Unorthodox Reviews - Bursting Meatballs

To fellow readers who have visited Go Noodle House, you would be familiar with the bursting meatball. It is a meatball which is made up of two layers, both being meat. The inner layer is a clump of darker juicier minced meat acting as filling while the outer layer has a slightly more chewy texture and is normally what makes up a single layered meatball. The inner clump obviously has a juicier taste, because the juices of the meat compressed in the ‘inner compartment’ during the boiling process. It is temptingly promoted as a “bursting” meatball by Go Noodle House, yet I find myself wondering if that is truly accurate. Firstly, don’t most of us bite only part of the meatball? At the very least I do. Some people might even use their spoon to slice the meatball into half, either being oblivious to the juice or taking preventive action against the spurting insides from burning their tongue.^[1] Indeed there are some who bite the meatball with such force that it does burst, but surely a food item’s validity cannot rely on an external factor such as the strength of a person’s bite.

Next to where the bursting meatball is listed on the menu, there is the warning “Caution Hot!”. Indeed the juices within tend to be hotter than the already hot soup outside. That is just simple science. Because of my vocation as a lawyer, the warning “Caution Hot!” or something to a similar effect will always evoke the memory of the Liebeck v MacDonald case. This case concerned a lady who placed a cup of coffee between her knees, a cup of coffee that was boiled to almost maximum boiling point, which then spilled on her legs and genitals causing third degree burns (the most serious kind!) and requiring skin grafting. She admitted that she was careless^[2] but (rightfully) won the case as the issue was to do with the coffee being a danger at such high temperatures. MacDonalds were clearly unrepentant as there were 700 previous reports^[3] of injury due to the hazardous heated coffee. I doubt that a bursting meatball would ever be capable of such degree of injury, not even close! The liquid that spews out, even with the causal role of the most forceful chewer, would very unlikely cause burns that severe. Rather, I guess the concern would be shock at the sudden sensation of heat from the meatball, even though you had expected it.

The first time I ate a bursting meatball was before it was popularly labelled as that. It was in Esquire Kitchen, and the outer layer was made of fish rather than meat. I remember urging my parents to go there so I could order a dish that came with the side of two bursting meatballs.^[4] Each time I try to eat the meatball, I always have two strategies, 1) to get as much juice as possible within my mouth (instead of it falling into the soup or worse, the table!) and 2) to not get shocked by the sudden heat. But every time I failed. Getting just the right about of juice into by mouth means I need to be signalled by the sudden ‘burst’ of heat to stop. Alternatively, trying to predict the sudden heat means I’m distracted at my task of containing the juice!

I find the English saying “to sink your teeth into something” really apt for this situation. Cambridge English Dictionary defines this phrase as “to become completely involved in something”. My director at an organisation I am volunteering in used this phrase today to discuss how he was getting more committed in certain things. To the non-native English speaker, this phrase sounds violent doesn’t it? You are tearing your sharp incisors or your crushing molars into something you want to be completely involved in! But taking a step back will help us see that it is our teeth that we are committing. It is our mouths that will suffer the burn of a spewing meatball.

To “sink our teeth” evokes the image of going all out without hesitation. Indeed, this is a welcomed attitude towards projects we are passionate about. Work is an innate part of our daily lives and it is a blessing to have that work be fulfilling, to taste as juicy as a bursting meatball. But like the process of eating a bursting meatball, there are things that we cannot control as much as we want to. The Enlightenment has imbued within us a belief that productivity defines success in work. In fact, Key Performance Indexes (KPIs) are often measured per period. In other words, time is a common factor in their definition of success. This is co-existent with the somewhat obvious goal of maximising output while minimizing waste. Using our bursting meatball analogy, we want to get as much of that sweet inner layer juice as possible, and we hopefully do not want to take too long to eat one meatball, since no one orders just one meatball. Time is needed to make the perfect incision on the outer layer of the meatball to all (or at least as much) of the juicy goodness as possible. That carries out strategy 1)^[5].

But we then have that second goal. That annoying second goal. It takes a negative form, not getting shocked by the spewing goodness rather than trying to collect it. In trying to get as much juice as possible (in as short an amount of time), we correspondingly face an almost certain likelihood of being shocked by the hot filling inside. This is frustrating isn’t it. We want the enjoyment of eating the meatball without the unnecessary burning. Yes, we can wait until the meatball is colder, but too cold and it would not taste delicious anymore! Yes, we can wait for it to warm to the optimum temperature, but even if you could somehow precisely obtain that optimum temperature, you would lose on the efficiency front, as the hungry hippos on the next table have already finished their meal!^[6]

What then is the solution? Perhaps it is nothing. By “nothing” I mean that in the course of committing yourself wholeheartedly, sometimes you cannot avoid the sudden heat bursts that come into your life. In a very popular game by the name of Minecraft (do not confuse this with the book authored by Hitler, Mein Kampf), a common warning is not to dig straight down for fear of landing in lava. However, most people including myself still do so as we want to obtain Diamonds (the most valuable resource in the game) as quick as possible. I make no claims as to the wisdom of the process. I only use this example to show that in pursuit of a goal you are passionate about, you will be burned along the way. This is more than just saying that the risk of being burned is higher, but it is necessary.

Do you think that the wise decision after being burned by lava in Minecraft or the hot filling in a juicy meatball is to continue doing digging straight down or chewing the bursting meatball as quick as possible. Clearly not! I must instead attune my strategy in both digging and chewing. As mentioned earlier, the heat signals that I may be going too far. And relying too much either strategy, whether it be 1) the productivity-maximising or 2) adversity to danger, will withhold from me the fine-tuning exercise. The fine-tuning exercise of chewing a bursting meatball.

[1] Comment below what the right way to eat a meatball is

[2] https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2016/12/16/13971482/mcdonalds-coffee-lawsuit-stella-liebeck

[3] https://www.caoc.org/?pg=facts

[4] Although the outer layer was made of “fish”, fish is a type of meat so it is right for me to call fish balls meatballs. Fight me on this.

[5] As mentioned in paragraph 3

[6] I do not think that efficiency in itself defines success in work, but its importance is granted here to make the point that trying to balance multiple factors is impossible